A Modest Proposal in Regards to Illegal Immigration

A Modest Proposal in Regards to Illegal Immigration

It’s obvious that in these modern times, we need strong and brave solutions to the pestilence of illegal immigrants coming to our shores and across our borders.

These immigrants, no longer happy with taking American jobs at pennies on the salary dollar in their own countries, have decided that they’ll just sneak over here and take the jobs we kept here, and do it for the outrageous rate of dimes on the dollar.

Americans who are unemployed have enough trouble finding good jobs already. And while no illegals, to the best of my knowledge, have resumes posted on theladders.com, you can be sure they’re scouring craigslist.com and taking all of the sweet dishwasher and landscaping jobs right from under our noses. Some of them even take two or three of those jobs at one time, just so that they can make what I expect to make in a forty hour week at McDonalds or Walmart. If you need to work a hundred hours to compete with what I can make in forty, don’t question that I must be better than you! Numbers don’t lie!

What we need to do is simple.

Repeal the 13th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America.

By it’s very name ‘amendment’, it’s easy to realize that this is something that was added to the Constitution as laid out by the Founding Fathers of our Nation, and not a part of their original vision. It was added well over sixty years after the fact, when all of the Founders of this Nation were safely dead and unable to protest.

Once this amendment is out of the way, it will be a simple matter to begin rounding up all of these illegal immigrants and give them a new, legal status as personal property.

I propose that, initially, a Finders-Keepers policy be enacted, in which any citizen who finds and detains an illegal can then register and take immediate ownership of said illegal.

Great Civilizations have been built on the back of Slavery. Without a slave system in place, Greece, Rome and Egypt would still be nothing but nations of goat herders. Even the lower North American nations who once had great civilizations, had them because of slavery. The United States of America would be a struggling nation today without the slave power we harnessed to give us the time to think, to grow and plan, and to push the indigenous, savage population further away from the natural resources we so desperately needed to grow as a nation.

I know that this will be a touchy subject for the African- Americans. They should rejoice that it’s now their turn again to own slaves. Something that civilized Africans haven’t done since some of them designed pyramids.

Foreclosed properties can be easily made into community immigrant barracks. They live packed into small apartments now. Those choosing to own slaves can pay a modest tax for the use of said barracks, as well as pay into a health plan to make sure that their property is well maintained. It will be easier to afford these taxes once we have these people working for us, rather than against us.

For ease of identification, collars or bracelets, made to fit tight about the neck or wrist, can be stamped with the name of the slave, the owner and the barracks to which the slave belongs.

Plans can also be enforced for forced contraception or breeding, so that the population is maintained at a viable rate. This will also keep the children from over taxing our educational institutions. All they will need to be taught can be taught in a barracks classroom or in the field and on the job.

This will also allow the opening of new jobs for American citizens as an industry in Slavery continues to grow. Businesses that already own slaves for work in sweat shops or the restaurant industry will now be able to place their slaves on the tax rolls, meaning more openness for the business in question, while increasing the taxes collected.

Let’s face facts. The illegal aliens are here, and are not going anywhere. This proposal will only work towards the benefit of all mankind as we utilize them as we best know how and return this country to the values it was once based on.

Posted in Ill-Literati, Life, What the...?, Writing | Tagged as: , , , , , | 2 Comments

2 Responses to A Modest Proposal in Regards to Illegal Immigration

  1. sleepjunky says:

    Finders-Keepers Policy. Awesome. Can’t wait to get me some of them illegals.

  2. Brandonicus says:

    I seriously wonder how slavery would look in this new hipster world of lattes and MacBook Pros. Serious question for this serious issue: would the democrats eventually force us to cover our slaves as far as health care? Sub question: wouldn’t that presuppose social service benefits?

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