- A Steampunk Tale of the Gay 90′s
- Confidence Game
- Made of Meat
- The Girl in the Picture
- A Regular Realization
- Hey @aplusk, you’ve been pnked! love, @Oprah.
- The Shrink
- Five Gallons of Love
- The Pope of Rock ‘n Roll: Divine or Diva?
- Walking Into The Wind
- Gorillas in the Midst
- True Tales of Laser Beams
- Get Well Quick!
- One Night at the Old Copper
Ashton Kutcher scrolled through the database of deceased, giggling as the program Wil Wheaton had written for him, created a twitter account for each corpse and automatically followed him.
@mrskutcher, he tapped into his phone. this is so fucking awesome! @Oprah and @cnnbrk in the dust! Pwned!
Demi turned around on his lap, carefully so as not to break a hip. She smiled and winked, and tapped back.
@aplusk I know! You’re so cool! But don’t you mean Pnked?
@mrskutcher I have no idea what that means.
Suddenly, he got a tweet from Wil Wheaton. @aplusk! You’re behind @Oprah! By 500,000 at last count!
Ashton jumped up. Demi fell to the floor with a dry snap. Ashton ignored this as he tapped furiously, @wilw How is that possible? Our plan was fool proof!
@lifealert I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Demi typed with shaking, swollen jointed fingers.
Ashton didn’t notice as he clicked the link for twitterholic. Indeed, Oprah was beating him. Now by 700,000 followers.
But how!? How!!? He tweeted.
Meanwhile, in China, a hundred thousand starving people were earning two cents for each twitter account they created to follow Oprah. Almost half of the profile pictures were Chairman Mao, and nearly a quarter were Jackie Chan.
One obnoxious fellow used a picture of Richard Nixon and was sent to Oprah’s re-education camp, where he was made to read “A Million Little Pieces”.